You Should Always Know It’s Back There
(Why “I can’t even tell it’s back there” is the most dangerous phrase in RVing)
C’mon, we’ve all heard this cliché phrase. And, much to my wife’s chagrin, I have to respond aloud when I hear or see it. The expression usually starts with a grimace, followed by an animated dissertation. This is not about equipment — this is about awareness.
This phrase — said casually, or even proudly — is one of the most misunderstood (and quite frankly, dangerous) mindsets in RV towing.
Let’s start with a fair concession.
My Concession
Yes, there were actually a couple times I can recall where I “forgot” that I was towing something while cruising down the Interstate on long travel days — lost in thought and tired from early mornings and late evenings.
Sitting in a familiar truck cab that doesn’t really change whether you’re hooked up or not (aside from that little rearview camera screen), it’s possible to drift, even for just a moment.
Those moments are not something to feel good about. They’re reminders. Because when towing, we need to be extra vigilant and aware of our extended and heavy load at all times.
And the only reason nothing bad happened in those situations is simple — I wasn’t doing anything. No lane changes, no turns, the highway was almost completely empty. And the second I would have needed to move, my habits kick in: left mirror, right mirror, quick shoulder check, final lateral windshield check and mirror glance again.
That wakes you up instantly.
But that’s not what people mean when they say, “I can’t even tell it’s back there.” What they’re really describing is their overall experience. And that’s where the problem begins…
ABOVE: If you stare into the distance, there’s hardly any visual cues that you’re towing something aside from the little rearview camera screen to the right. It’s so easy to miss when you are tired and start having those tunnel vision moments — sometimes resulting in a brief disassociation of you actually towing something in that moment. When this happens, it’s time to pull over, rest, and analyze what’s going on before proceeding.
The Real Skill Most Drivers Never Think About
The reason humans can drive anything at all, like a car or motorcycle, is because we have the innate ability to extend our spatial awareness. The vehicle becomes part of us. Its boundaries become our boundaries.
Some people pick this up naturally. Others have to really work at it. That’s why a kid who grew up on a farm often can handle tractors and old ranch trucks like it’s second nature, while some adults struggle to confidently maneuver a golf cart.
But this is a learned skill; and towing pushes that skill to a completely different level.
Now your awareness doesn’t just stop at the rear bumper — it extends 20, 30, even 40 feet behind your tow vehicle… and that extension has weight, movement, and its own set of other handling dynamics.
So What’s Actually Going On?
From what I’ve seen, that phrase usually comes from one of two places.
The first is pride.
Some people have already made up their mind about their setup. Maybe they’ve been questioned, maybe they’ve questioned themselves — and instead of reassessing, they defend it. You’ll see it all over forums and Facebook groups. They’re not looking for insight, they’re looking for personal validation. Please see the The Religion of Defending Your Truck post for a further breakdown on this topic. These are often the same people that will also excitedly declare that “It tows like a dream!” (lest we forget that nightmares are dreams as well).
But at that point, it’s not about towing anymore. It’s about being right.
However, the second — and far more common reason — is something else entirely: they’re just simply not aware.
The Part You’re Supposed to Feel
The reality is that the second you hook up a trailer, things change. Not dramatically all at once — but in ways that are always there if you’re paying attention.
Braking becomes more sluggish and stopping distances increase.
Acceleration changes — you’ll need more throttle, and you won’t get moving as quickly.
The vehicle settles differently, which subtly shifts your perspective out the windshield and over the hood.
At speed, even a small lateral push from a gentle breeze or passing car becomes noticeable, no matter how well your weight distribution and sway control are dialed in.
And at almost any speed, there is some level of porpoising, shake, vibration, or bounce — both vertically and horizontally — that never fully disappears.
With every trailer I own now — and every trailer I’ve ever towed, whether it’s blatantly visible in the mirrors or a tiny trailer completely hidden from view — I am constantly aware it’s back there because of one or more of these signals.
Always.
If you’re not feeling any of that, it’s not because it isn’t happening; it’s because you’re not tuned into it — yet. But there is hope…
ABOVE: Even our very light cargo trailer has significant impact on how our HD Ram “feels”. We have towed a lot smaller, but each time, the handling characteristics noticeably change immediately when the truck is hitched up… if you have developed the ability to be aware of them.
Why This Actually Matters
This isn’t about being overly cautious — it’s about being connected.
That awareness is what tells you the wind just picked up before it becomes a problem. It’s what alerts you to a blown tire, a suspension issue, or braking trouble. It’s what helps you recognize when you’re driving too fast for conditions. Or when something just doesn’t “feel right”.
This is what keeps you, your passengers, and everyone else on the road alive.
ABOVE: Even though we didn’t need to stop, this is a great place to fight off any drowsiness and take a break and just walk around a bit. This is also a reminder that when you back away from your rig and look at it from this perspective, you may get that slight shock of how much length and weight you are carrying behind you. For scale, we’re only 7-11’ shorter than a typical semi truck and trailer.
RV Towing Enlightenment
So please don’t get caught up in the fun, fancy-free cliché of: “I can’t even tell it’s back there.”
It’s not something to brag about. It is something that should concern you.
You should always know it’s back there — not just when changing lanes or taking a corner, but even on a freshly paved, perfectly level, glassy smooth highway with no wind. Because that’s where true awareness lives.
And if you can achieve this (and keep it always in your consciousness), you will have gained RV Towing Enlightenment – a place that every driver should be.
